Joan Mazza

It is what it is

An old friend says three times during a phone call
about having married when she was past forty,
her sister at forty-five. No children except
the steps and grand-steps through their husbands.
It is what it is.

And now her sister’s getting divorced after twenty
years of much-less-than-bliss, divorced at sixty-five,
alone again, living on her own (again!) in the big
city where strangers don’t dare say hello.
It is what it is.

People say this when reality grinds them down,
when their plans for mates and partners, designs
for career success didn’t work out, when alcoholic,
sociopathic siblings call only to hurl insults.
It is what it is.

At 12-Step meetings, someone shares memories
of childhood beatings, mother passed out, daily
fears. Is she dead? Their own years of drinking,
drugging until something changed. They say,
But that’s okay,

a version of, It is what it is. Trying to come
to acceptance of the unacceptable, resignation
and a facsimile of self-hypnotism for forgiveness
of big brothers and sisters who beat them
and now call

every few months to ask for immediate cash,
a place to stay, hoping for a rescue from
themselves. Maybe something will change
in a flash of self-awareness. Or maybe,
It is what it is. 

Joan Mazza has worked as a medical microbiologist and psychotherapist, and taught workshops nationally on dreams and nightmares. She is the author of six self-help psychology books, including Dreaming Your Real Self (Penguin/Putnam). Her poetry has appeared in The Comstock Review, Valparaiso Poetry Review, Prairie Schooner, Atlanta Journal, Poet Lore, Slant, and The Nation. She lives in rural central Virginia.